If you are in emotional distress or despair call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000 and speak to a counsellor immediately.

For support or information about mental health, call our Infoline team on 0808 189 0036

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Supporting a veteran loved one is about balance: being present, encouraging healthy steps, and protecting your own wellbeing. You don’t need all the answers… you just need to walk alongside them with patience, respect, and care.

Approximately 1 in 5 people in Northern Ireland will experience a mental health problem at any one time. The other 4 will have a friend, family member or colleague who will. That is why it is important that you have the right tools to support the ones you love. 

Talking with friends and loved ones about their problems is never easy. But we are here to help you with simple tips, normalising talking about menatl health in the veteran community. 

What to look out for in the veterans in your life:

Those close to a veteran will often notice something is wrong before they do. Friends and family can be key in helping a veteran to get help.

If you’re close to a veteran you might notice they stop socialising, stop going out, are not responding to texts. Or perhaps they are not excited by things they normally are, are more snappy, or perhaps they are drinking more.

If you are worried about someone, or you are a veteran and notice some of this applies to you, check out our tips below on how to start a conversation, and signposting for support.

Helpful tips when supporting a veteran loved one:

1. Listen without judgment

  • Give space for them to share at their own pace.

  • Avoid rushing to “fix” things, give them space to open up. Sometimes being a listening ear is the most powerful support.

  • Read Inspire’s advice on how to become an active listener here.

2. Respect their boundaries

  • Veterans may not want to talk about certain experiences.

  • Let them decide what to share, and reassure them that silence is okay too.

3. Encourage, don’t pressure

  • Suggest professional help or peer support gently.

  • Frame it as a strength, not weakness.

4. Learn about veteran experiences

  • Read up on common challenges like PTSD, moral injury, or transition stress.

  • Understanding their world helps you respond with empathy instead of frustration.

5. Watch for warning signs

  • Withdrawal, changes in sleep, irritability, or talk of hopelessness can signal deeper struggles.

  • If you’re worried about immediate safety, seek urgent help from local emergency services.

6. Take care of yourself too

  • Supporting someone can be draining.

  • Build your own support network, practice self-care, and set healthy boundaries.

Witnessing someone you care about in a distressed state and/or providing support can also take its toll on you. It is important that you do not take on more than you are comfortable with. Make sure you put support measures in place for yourself and also seek support if necessary.

Looking for support?

Below are organisations that provide help and support to veterans:

 

  • Veterans Support NI– Veterans Support NI has information on a range of veterans organisations across NI – Veterans Support NI | Northern Ireland Veterans Charity
  • Combat Stress – Combat Stress provide provide specialist treatment and support for veterans from every service and conflict, focusing on those with complex mental health issues related to their military service – combatstress.org.uk
  • Samaritans- Samaritans provides completely confidential emotional support face-to-face, via phone, email and letter, around the clock every day of the year, supporting people in emotional distress and vulnerable situations, including veterans, serving personnel, reservists and Service families, with mental health issues, relationship breakdown and suicidal thoughts. In the military and Armed Forces Community | How we can help (samaritans.org)
  • Veterans UK – Veterans UK is part of the Ministry of Defence (MOD). They administer the Armed Forces Pension Schemes and compensation payments for those injured or bereaved through service. They also provide a package of free welfare and transition support for Service Personnel, Veterans and their families via a national Veterans Welfare Service, Defence Transition Services and a helpline facility.​ Veterans UK helpline: 0808 1914 2 18.

If the risk is immediate…

  • Call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000 – Lifeline is the Regional Northern Ireland crisis response helpline service for people who are experiencing crisis. No matter what your age or where you live in Northern Ireland, if you are or someone you know is in distress or despair, Lifeline is here to help.  Deaf and hard of hearing Textphone users can call Lifeline on 18001 0808 808 8000.
  • Call the emergency services 999 – If you’re having suicidal thoughts or are experiencing a serious mental health crisis, call the emergency services for immediate help.
  • Speak to your GP – Your GP can talk to you about your mental health and help introduce you to the right mental health service for your needs.
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