If you are in emotional distress or despair call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000 or Samaritans on 116 123 to speak to someone immediately. For immediate assistance ring 999.
For support, advice or information about mental health, call the Right Support Right Time team on 0808 189 0036

To donate

 

Click Here

Supporting a veteran or ex service person and loved one is about balance: being present, encouraging healthy steps, and protecting your own wellbeing. You don’t need all the answers… you just need to walk alongside them with patience, respect, and care.

Approximately 1 in 5 people in Northern Ireland will experience a mental health problem at any one time. The other 4 will have a friend, family member or colleague who will. That is why it is important that you have the right tools to support the ones you love and know what support may be available to you.

Talking with friends and loved ones about their problems is never easy. But we are here to help you with simple tips, normalising talking about mental health in the veteran community.

Here are just some of the challenges veterans face that you might not know about:

  • Hypervigilance: Feeling “always on” or scanning for threats, even in safe places.

  • Moral injury: Wrestling with events that challenged your sense of right and wrong.

  • Isolation: Pulling back because you don’t want to burden others or be misunderstood.

  • Sleep disruption: Nightmares, early waking, or trouble winding down.

  • Brain fog: Experiences of memory loss, confusion, difficulty focusing and mental fatigue. 

  • Shame and stigma: The belief you should “handle it yourself,” even when you’re hurting.

  • Memory Gaps: Distorted perception of time. 
  • Sense of abandonments:

What to look out:

Those close to a veteran will often notice something is wrong before they do. Friends and family can be key in helping a veteran to get help.

If you’re close to a veteran you might notice:

  • they stop socialising
  • stop going out
  • not responding to texts.
  • seem distracted
  • more snappy
  • lack of concentration on tasks
  • or perhaps drinking more

Whilst you may see some of these symptoms, this list is not exhaustive. 

If you are worried about someone, or you are a veteran and notice some of this applies to you, check out our tips below on how to start a conversation, and signposting for support.

Helpful tips when supporting a veteran and loved one:

1. Take care of yourself

  • Supporting someone can be draining.

  • Build your own support network, practice self-care, and set healthy boundaries.

2. Listen without judgment

  • Give space for them to share at their own pace.

  • Avoid rushing to “fix” things, give them space to open up. Sometimes being a listening ear is the most powerful support.

  • Read Inspire’s advice on how to become an active listener here.

3. Respect their boundaries

  • Veterans may not want to talk about certain experiences.

  • Let them decide what to share, and reassure them that silence is okay too.

4. Encourage, don’t pressure

  • Suggest professional help or peer support gently.

  • Frame it as a strength, not weakness.

5. Learn about service experiences

  • Read up on common challenges like PTSD, moral injury, substance misuse or transition stress.

  • Understanding their world helps you respond with empathy instead of frustration.

6. Watch for warning signs

  • Withdrawal, changes in sleep, irritability, or talk of hopelessness can signal deeper struggles.

  • Look out for changes in language. (to add more details)

  • If you’re worried about immediate safety, seek urgent help from local emergency services.

Witnessing someone you care about in a distressed state and/or providing support can also take its toll on you. It is important that you do not take on more than you are comfortable with. Make sure you put support measures in place for yourself and also seek support if necessary.

Looking for support?

Mental Health Support

Right Support Right Time provides information and signposting for people in Northern Ireland including our veteran community. It is a service for people seeking support, looking for information, or if they want to have chat about mental health. Inspire Infoline 0808 189 003.

If the risk is immediate…

  • Call Lifeline on 0808 808 8000 – Lifeline is the Regional Northern Ireland crisis response helpline service for people who are experiencing crisis. No matter what your age or where you live in Northern Ireland, if you are or someone you know is in distress or despair, Lifeline is here to help.  Deaf and hard of hearing Textphone users can call Lifeline on 18001 0808 808 8000.
  • Call the emergency services 999 – If you’re having suicidal thoughts or are experiencing a serious mental health crisis, call the emergency services for immediate help.
  • Speak to your GP – Your GP can talk to you about your mental health and help introduce you to the right mental health service for your needs.
X